Tomsteve--

Thanks for the thought, but after more than seven years and dozens of meetings, I did give up on 12-step recovery. It gave me a vision of recovery which is still strong for me, but I needed more intensive one-on-one help.

I think it is a disservice to AA to expect it to be something it is not. It cannot be all things to all people and rather than criticizing it for that, or pretzeling it into the shape you want, it is best to move on.

I really wish that AA would employ more life affirming ideas into the program. Powerlessness can really **** up someone's recovery. The Serenity Prayer says "Courage to change the things I can" but that is not in the program. The emphasis on powerlessness and surrender is very problematic, especially if someone has to rebuild their life from the destruction that was wrought upon it through drinking/drugging.

I'm not making excuses (I hope) but I never really made it past step 3 in 5 or 6 years. I'm back at day 29 again. While I'm an AA supporter, the longer I'm here in SR, the more I think I need to take a closer look at the other recovery methods mentioned around here.

dsober..You have been in aa for 5+ years? Is that correct?

DSober, I think it's great that folks continue their search for the solution to their own unique and individual puzzle. If you things are not making sense for you now, try a new direction. There is a lot of support for you no matter what you choose.

nevermind... life affirming, LOL

So nooooot going to hijack this thread but I've been right where u are Ships. I had the same misconceptions about powerlessness. Bear in mind, powerlessness is ONLY in the first step and ONLY used in connection to alcoholism. The rest of the program is about finding POWER.

Now, do some people get it twisted and insist they're still insane, still powerless, powerless over ppl/places/things, and so on? Sure they do. Perhaps their experience with recovery is limited though and they've only experienced a bit of it (some of these folks have many years in the program, sadly). Others, I think this is the main reason, heard someone use one of those one-liners and they're just parroting what they heard.

If you would like more info or some clarification, shoot me a pm.
Mike

Step 3 is simply committing to doing the rest of the steps....I'd think if you haven't done that in 5 or 6 years and you are at 29 days sober...You should look into something else....For me there was nothing else....As they say in How it Works....

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

No contradiction there for me. That was pure truth. I wasted years looking for an easier, softer way. I wish you well on your sober journey.

I think a lot about the phrase "Easier, softer way." When I realized that for me 12-step recovery was easier and softer, I had to go.

To me, that seemed like a contradiction because it was easy for me to get lost in making coffee and going to meetings. Early on, I thought that AA was so easy that I did not understand what the problem was in taking an easier, softer way since that is what AA was. I saw it as a contradiction to speak out against itself.

Years later, I realized that I was hiding out in 12-step programs to avoid the real work I needed to do in recovery. What I thought was a contradiction in the program was really in me. I agree with Sapling. You need to find the program that challenges you.

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“Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth.”

~ Blaise Pascal (French Mathematician, Philosopher and Physicist, 1623-1662)

There are many paradoxes in life, and in certain instances they can and will come true....the link below shows four of them...

AA History - The Professor and The Paradox

I think the idea is that you change everything about THE INTERNAL WAY YOU LOOK AT LIFE, but don't change anything major about your EXTERIOR LIVING CIRCUMSTANCES right away...

Lots of things have sprung to mind as I read this thread, my first thought, after reading the OP was Boleo's signature line "if it makes sense it ain't spiritual!"

then a teaching from my own faith "Where you find paradox, there is truth."

and the way many Buddhist koans make no "sense" but make a lot of SENSE

and lastly...even though I havn't used AA directly as my recovery program, were it not for AA and the many people here and elsewhere who have used it as their recovery program...I might not have recovered.

The hope, honesty, experience and support I've gotten from AAers has been a huge part of my recovery.

as far as making huge life changes...in early recovery I had major surgery, lost a job, lost a marriage, moved cross country, lost my house and belongings, the only thing that didn't change was my hair color and my religion.

did it have an effect on me? Hell yeah... I relapsed over and over and over. finally have many months of clean and sober time behind me. Moved again, new job...sigh sigh...this time for sure!

Bill Wilson and AA are far from perfect........... I suggest just letting that stuff go and focusing on what's important. In early sobriety someone suggested "take what you want and leave the rest behind." I'm an agnostic sober in AA for 21 years. I have a higher power I don't call God.....

That works!!