1,537 days and the streaks over....
 

Well folks, I have entered civilian life. Therefore with my strong belief of total abstinence, I can no longer consider myself part of the Sober community for that reason alone. I still maintain the same Morals and Beliefs that saved my life and was attainable only through God and AA/NA. Do I regret my decision? Nope, actually I am unburdened as to all the what ifs? I am not the same person that I was for nearly 25 years as an addict and drunk. I would love to still chime in here at SR once in a while but as for my recent change in status, my opinions wouldnt hold water....

On a side note, our community was struck by a recent tragedy down here. Prayers for Family and Friends would be greatly appreciated. Just sayin.....

Warlocks biker shooting arrests: Third Warlocks club member died - Orlando Sentinel

I'm not real sure I get this...Maybe it's too early in the morning for me. Have you gone back to normal drinking?

Thats the ticket! My vague description was in respect to the policies of SR.

page 30 of the big book...First Edition

.....just sayin'.

You don't think it's because you weren't drinking and taking drugs?

Good luck to you my friend... We will leave the light on.

I kind of saw this coming in some posts you had not long ago......I wish you well...Cunning, baffling and powerful.

This is what you posted July 18...

Backing off from the sober community
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Tomorrow I will be entering my fifth year sober, that includes holidays and weekends too! As I reflected on the journey I realised that I have distanced myself from the large group of recovering alcoholics/addicts that I was once associated with. Some are dead, some are back "out there", and some are still struggling. When I do see them it is as if they are stuck in time, exactly how I saw them last. Almost as if they will embrace that hoplessness forever. On top of that they always ask, "Are you OK? I havent seen you at a meeting lately" as if meetings are all that matter. Its usually asked by the guy that has relapsed over and over and is still unemployed and living on a couch somewhere. Reminds me of that old saying, "Hang around a Barber Shop long enough and you are gonna get a haircut". I guess I see AA/NA as opportunity to make a better life for myself instead of just stopping drinking. Just sayin...

Good luck with that, we will be here if you need us.

I had an oldtimer friend tell me you go out of AA just like you came in. You start with meetings...Get a sponsor...Work the steps....Get into service work....Pretty soon the service work starts to slide....You start slowing down with step work...Working 10 and 11....You start distancing yourself from your sponsor........Pretty soon you've cut meetings down to nothing and you're back out. Have you seen this to be true with you?

Sapling,

I like your comment. I'm 3 day sobber so I'm no expert.

But I don't want to spend my life thinking it's a struggle to stay sobber. I'm already feeling like I'm just a person that don't drink. That's it. Many people don't drink and they are perfectly happy. I want to be one of them. For some reason this time is not hard at all to have stopped. I don't even feel a need to drink. It's like I feel totally done with the pain. I feel at peice, that's it.

Thats my point.

I don't get it stugotz....If you're life was better drinking....Why did you stop to begin with?

I'll miss your contributions.

Newcomers who can't quite grasp "never" drinking again frequently ask, "Has any recovered alcoholic become a normal drinker." The closest I've seen to a YES answer is, "If there are any, they aren't posting to SR."

Maybe you'll be one. Most likely we'll never know. Good luck.

See that is where you miss my point. I was the problem not the booze or alcohol. My life sucked because of ME not any other reason. Through God and the programs of AA/NA I have learned how to fix ME. Nothing else, just ME. This isnt a test, or an experiment. This is life. With the risk of getting this post closed down, I had half a glass of beer at a memorial for some lost friends. I didnt rob a liquor store or buy dope after. I just believe that with AA/NA goes abstinence, which I no longer subscribe to. Just sayin...

I for one realise I will NEVER touch it again. Why can't people just be happy without chemicals in their body?

I could never just have one or 2. But give me a 24 and I'll see the bottom of it. LOL!

I have to wish you luck with that...I stll have that one thing that makes me different from other people...The phenomenon of craving. I don't want to go back there. Take care of yourself...And if it doesn't work out...You have a good idea what you need to do.

I'll miss you around here. Just sayin'...:hug:

"If anyone who is showing inability to quit drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him."

Hats off to ya Stugotz. If you need us we are here for ya!

My condolences for the loss of the members, and right outside the VFW Post. Sometimes there's just no respect. SR will be here if you need us again with no judgement. Good luck to you. Ride safe

I remember you use to be a big part of AA & recovery life. You even brought meetings to the jail. This is an interesting post. Once in a while I get the thought that maybe depression has been my main problem & when I get a handle on that I can drink like a "normal drinker". I think that's it like playing Craps. You can hit your number a few times, sometimes quite a few but eventually that seven pops up. It's statistically against you.

I will always remember you for the Broccoli Analogy...it was one of my favorites.

1/2 a beer does not make you a non-member. You do what works for you.

and I for one, respect your decisions.

Best of luck to you. And please, if it gets to be too much, come back.

I have 14 1/2 years sober. I don't go to meetings much anymore, but I am know myself - I will never be able to drink like a normal person no matter how long I stay away from the stuff. I have enough evidence to prove it from my 20+ years of drinking to not even consider testing.

And for those newcomers who are afraid that life will be filled with the daily struggle against alcohol - I can attest that it is not. I don't think about drinking, I have no desire to drink. I stay close to other recovering people. I purposely go on this site every day to help another alcoholic. I stay close to my higher power. I live my life. I enjoy my life. I do no think I'm missing out on anything just because I don't drink.

Thank you very much......

Hey stugotz, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

You will be missed around here for sure. If you need us, you know where we'll be.

Stu my situation is similar to yours.. after 9 years abstinance I started back drinking in August...so far its working out fine. I dont drink,nor do i have the desire to drink at anywhere near the levels I was drinking in the past... some nights I have no more than one drink and then Im done.most times 2-3 drinks max.. I hope it continues to work for us... and if it doesnt we know what to do..

Thanks again everyone. I dont plan on drinking or doing anything else for that matter. What I do plan on doing is continue living a decent moral life while trying to help others. But to continue as an AA'r would be like asking to borrow money while I have a gun to your head. Just sayin...

I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

I loved reading your posts, they have helped me a lot.
Thankyou for your contribution to SR, and for helping me along the road.
I feel a little sad, I guess if I'm honest, a bit scared for you too.
Take care xxx

Although what you do is really up to you, I'm sorry to hear it Stu...

I have just watched the person who I thought was the love of my life destroy nearly everything of value, from his relationships including ours in the last two weeks, to his career, his finances, his home, his reputation, his integrity, his self-respect, his health, his welfare, his family, his friendships and so much more in this last year through several relapses after putting together nearly 16 years sober. The insanity returned, and the illness progressed beyond anything he (or I) had ever known before. I hear he now has a few days clean and sober again and pray for his sake that he will do whatever it takes to get well. I would never wish what we have just lived on anyone.

I pray that you made a mistake when you found AA and that you aren't an alcoholic or an addict after all because all the evidence I have seen and lived tells me there is just no way to unpickle a pickle.

Perhaps it's not too late to turn this train around today, if you can find the willingness.

God bless

I thought the same thing and perhaps regret not saying it after this thread:

"Had a 12 pack last night....."

I remember feeling confused by all the support in the thread after this, as I can tell you that the last way I can think of that I want to spend my sobriety anniversary is to be covered in alcohol for any reason. Also the last sober alcoholic I knew who thought there was nothing too odd about being in a champagne fight relapsed some months later after many years sober. I'm just saying, maybe it's a shift in attitude, or maybe it's just a coincidence. Maybe hindsight is 20/20, or maybe you've actually got it all planned, figured out and in control, and I'm Chicken Little.

Any hope in suggesting a meeting today, maybe?