still moderating
 

Well I have made it about 3 weeks in a row that I have drank in moderation about once a week.

I have not been sneaking out to the supermarket to buy beer midweek...

This is not to say I have made it yet, I could at some point **** everthing up and have to think about complete sobriety again,

but right now I think I've got it under control.

In my experience, it was futile to moderate.. Good luck.

I genuinely hope you succeed in your goal.... but if you've got a serious drinking problem, you'll be the first I've seen do it.

Just sayin.

How do you feel? Are you happy?

Alcohol is the only drug people try to moderate.. I don't see people trying this approach with heroin, crack or cigarettes even..

Hendrix-

I often times, more then not, went weeks between "incidents". Maybe I'd drink in "moderation" for a few weeks, but then one night get a little too drunk, sleep with a strange woman, talk a little too much, spend too much money, have a horrible hangover, but then I'd moderate a few more weeks, then do it all again.

It wasn't until after about 13 years of drinking that I went "downhill" in any sort of downward spiral.

So you're controling your drinking, huh?

Did you know that people who don't have problems with alcohol don't even consider controling their drinking b/c the thought never even has to enter their mind?

Maybe you're not an alcoholic. Maybe you are.

To they own self be true

Kjell

The trick is to be able to moderate and be happy and not have it be the center of your life. THAT is what I think is impossible.

Hendrix-

One thing I failed to mention is if for any reason you feel you need help, please come back to SR and/or seek out an AA meeting.

We'll always welcome you back and we're here to help.

Kjell

That is good to hear! It may mean you are not an alcoholic. It is way too early to tell. Not enough information to make an informed decision. My wife is not an alcoholic, I am! She can drink one beer a night, one a week, one a month, or none at all and be completely content! I cannot! The only reason I drank beer at all was to chase straight alcohol. In the last 26 years I have only seen her intoxicated once.
Everyone is different, alcohol affects everyone differently. Something in my personality, my genes, my chemical makeup (I don’t know where). Makes it impossible for me to drink in moderation I have two very clear choices- either be a drunk or not drink at all! Believe me when I tell you I have tried ALL the alternatives. Nothing works for me but complete sobriety. This is where I am the happiest, the better father & husband, worker, neighbor, friend, ect. ect.. SR is not here to convert all the people who drink to be teetotalers or condemn those who do drink responsibly. As I understand it SR is here to offer help and support to those who have a problem with alcohol. If that doesn’t include you then I wish you well in your experiment!

Good luck! It might be possible, the problem for me the last time was I basically lost track of the fact that I wanted to moderate. So I pulled the experiment off over about a 2 month span but it finally culminated in an all out 3 day bender which included a trip to the ER for detox. I was good for about 6 weeks, but then the alcohol moved deeper into my life again. At that point I wasn't thinking in terms of moderation....it was weird because I just sort of forgot. If you are able to keep moderation in your mind every drinking episode you have it is probably possible, but it wasn't relaxing for me to keep it in the front of my mind when I wanted to "have fun" and let loose. Then as I always have in the past I didn't think I was really that buzzed so what are a few more gonna hurt? If was able to moderate for the last few weeks with no major consequences, I could push the bar a little higher,
couldn't I? Well I found out that I couldn't.

I couldn't do it consistantly, and obviously that shows my weakness when it comes to moderation. Plus now being sober all the time I don't miss it anymore. In fact thinking about drinking any amount makes me feel dirty. I think I had my fill, but obviously you have not.

Luckedog - that is well written and beautiful and has got to be an indication of some good sobriety.

The idea of getting completely sh!t faced makes me disgusted,
but I like the idea of having a cold beer on a hot summers day.

Trying to moderate was always a disaster to me. When I tried that, I was constantly wasting time and energy and mindspace obsessing over when-how-what-how much my next drink was going to be.

And I was never really good at the actual moderation part. When I inevitably drank more than initially intended, I always thought that I'd do a better job of moderating next time but that was never the case with me.

It was just easier in the end to reject the whole idea that I could drink like a normal person anyway. It's the easier, softer way for me and it frees me up for other stuff in my life.

Best of luck. 2 beers ALWAYS turned into 12 for me. Maybe you are not an alcoholic. You'll know for yourself in time.

Even if I were not an alcoholic, I'd still be working the 12 steps for all the other F*cked up issues in my life.

Zube

Fairplay to you. It sure would be a damn sight easier in many ways if I could moderate my drinking. Probably the biggest b*stard of giving up booze is the massive effect this has on many other aspects of your life. I don't know whether people realise how centred around drinking Britain is. Being at University then it's a bit of a b*stard in many ways, as afterall I don't not drink because i don't relate to it, in fact the drinkers I relate to as I was one myself, the sensible non-drinking types then I tend to find that they're boring and timid. It is what is, I made my bed and I've gotta lie in it, simple as really.

I guess I'm fortunate or unlucky (depending how you view it) that I never ever drank with any moderation whatsoever. I can't relate to a few beers. I think the amount of times I stopped at 4-5 pints I could count on one hand, and that's only because I was still under age and somebody else was buying like a relative and we had to leave or something and if i could I would have got smashed to passing out.

Once i drink then I never stop. If I ever drank again then it would be to excess. I can;t really try to kid myself that it would be anything but a minimum of 10 pints at least, that's how i grew up drinking in England and that's how I drink. I was raised on the binge-drinking culture of england, when you vomit you're pleased because it means you can get loads more down your neck.

Yeah I'm an alkie, it is what it is. I could just go back to drinking again, but I've no doubt I would be viewing that decision with regret when sh*t inevitably hit the fan. or maybe it wouldn't do? Who knows it can all be a bit of a head f*ck at times and I think living in recovery gives you a skewed perspective to the realities of just how central to life drinking is in England. Well it was to me anyway. Spirituality is all very good but somedays you just want to ave it large and let your hair down.

I must say though it's easy for me to lose perspective though to be honest. If it wasn;t for me getting and staying sober then I wouldn't even be at University and may very well be dead. Lol- Evrybody needs to wallow in self-pity sometimes, I deserve it.

Peace

Best of luck....:yup:

Please do remember where we are if you decide
you are interested in recovery.

SR is not about moderation...or how to do it.
While we all wish the best for you...
we are here to support recovery.

Please try ***** or other sites that share
your interest in drinking...thanks.

Yeah, me too. But I either felt edgy and uncomfortable a while later because I wouldn't let myself have more, or (more likely) headed back to the fridge and downed the rest of them.

I'm now happy and content not drinking at all.... but if I could wave a magic wand to change both my past and future? I would be right there with you, enjoying that summertime beer. Oh, well. At least I can still enjoy the warm weather and the girls in their summer dresses! ;)

Keep us posted and best of luck. I wouldn't wish anyone to go through what I did.

How were you before you started controled drinking?

Moderation hadn't worked for me and I got to a few months before it all came crumbling down.....leaving the door open.

By the time I came to a site called sober recovery....I knew I was an alcoholic.....didn't mean I had it all figured out but you catch my drift :)

People like my husband who have no problem with alcohol don't need to test themselves, try to moderate or look for support. He just has a drink and leaves it at that which isn't often. Oh and he can leave a drink too.....me....always have to finish it.

All the best!

Yes, leaving a glass half full has always seemed like I was wasting something. Why would someone not finish their drink, it just seemed so down right irresponsible and wasteful. So I, being the good samaratin that I was took it upon myself on a couple of occassions to finish anyone else's half full drink, and I always made sure the pitcher was empty as well. Then I moved on to larger things like coolers, kegs and refridgerators. Don't want to be a waster.:)

I wanted to forget finishing the leftovers! Waste not, want not, eh?
I stand humbled.

It was so exhausting mentally and emotionally trying to control my drinking...im glad i don't have to do that anymore...i wish you more success than i had:-)

Personally, I am an alcoholic. Moderation I tried, I failed.

However, I know many people who have had times in their lives when they have abused alcohol heavily who now do drink moderately. I am in no way advocating an alcoholic to drink moderately, that's like giving a fish cat food, but you will know yourself when the time is right whether you can keep this up or if you are in denial.

Either way as may have said before me, SR as a community is here for you if recovery is the road you choose to go down, and I dare say there are many support organisations that would always be open for you as well.

I've read your other posts hendrixstrat - alcohol's caused you a lot of trouble...
If it was me? I'd be looking at why you still can't let alcohol go....

D

To some of the respondants.......

IF you're truly alcoholic, you CAN'T control your drinking for long - it's not a viable solution for the real alcoholic - period.

hendrixstrat, 3 weeks is .......well, it's 3 weeks. It's a good start - hopefully it works for the rest of your life cuz your life might just depend upon it. Heck, if not drinking, or moderating your drinking works.....and you're life is getting better....and you can keep doing it.......the keep doing it.

For me, moderating doesn't work but "not drinking" doesn't work either. I'm a real alcoholic and my problem is NOT rooted in drinking. My problem centers in the mind, in selfishness and self-centeredness and in lack of power. Drinking is just an outward manifestation of a whole lotta stuff going on inside - dry OR wet. For me, the line "to die an alcoholic death or live upon a spiritual basis" has a lot of truth in it.

"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of very abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."

Granted, not everyone is an alcoholic. Not everyone in AA is an alcoholic. And not everyone on this website is an alcoholic. I know MY truth.....I hope the rest of you folks are (or get) clear on yours.

If you have to "try" to drink normally you are wasting your time....

I tried to moderate. I realized one day that the fact that I was putting so much thought into "moderating" was a clear indication that I had a problem much much bigger than me. One evening when you arent moderating I suggest you check out an AA meeting. Just listen when you go. I promise you will get a whole new take on your realtionship (moderating or not) with alcohol. Best of luck my friend!

I tried to moderate my drinking too, it never worked for very long. And when I wasn't drinking I was thinking about it all the time.:( It's easier for me to have none than one...

I stopped drinking for 3 years, knowing at the time that I was an alcoholic (and drinking pretty steadily throughout the week). Then, 2 years ago, I had a conversation with someone about why I wasn't drinking, and his words "moderation is the key" latched onto me like a virus. It wasn't his fault, I used it as an excuse to trick myself into drinking again.

I did moderate my drinking for some time, then eventually thought "wouldn't it be nice to get hammered, just once?". So, I did, and then fell into a pattern of erratic, binge drinking. I started keeping a drinking diary a year ago, and the numbers are all over the place, but getting steadily higher. This is my pattern now (rather than continuous as it was before). Don't know why, I think it is this tug-of-war battle between the part of me that still believes that I can moderate (for a while), and the part of me that wants to just go for it. It is true, I can moderate for a while, then all hell breaks loose again.

All I need to do is refer back to my diary to see that my continuing attempts to moderate are killing me. My 2 year moderation experiment just ended with a four day bender, so I guess that's failed then :)

Anyway, day 3 for me now. Maybe this is an experiment we all have to try? I don't know. If it works, then that's great. If not, then (for me) it's 2 years down the drain and even worse health.

Hi Hendrix - I think you have to look at what constitutes "moderate drinking." For guys, it's 2-3 drinks per day max (one drink = a beer, 5 oz. wine, or 1 1/2 oz. liquor). I can't remember ever following those guidelines or having a small glass of wine for my "health.":rolleyes:

It's great that you're trying, though. I had to do the same thing before I finally gave up and accepted my drinking for what it was.

We all just want the very best for you. happyface:

Pretty much it, in a nutshell. Non-alcoholics don't have to "try" or make a big deal about it. They just do it.

At one point earlier in my drinking life I was able to "moderate" my drinking for about four or five years. This was after an extended period of extremely heavy daily drinking during which I wrecked a marriage, wrecked two vehicles, blew a graduate degree and generally made a complete ass of myself.

Then I "moderated" for several years, although it wasn't normal drinking - mostly sneaking it or drinking alone. Was not the happiest time of my life, really.

But I couldn't keep it up, some bad stuff happened in my life and off I went to daily drinking-to-blackout again. After a while I realised how out of control I was getting and didn't even bother moderating or making promises to myself; I knew it wouldn't work.

If you're an alcoholic, you cannot moderate your drinking forever.