"Real" Alcoholic?
 

Alcohol was not my main "drug of choice", and I never became physically addicted to it, but when I did drink, I was always the one who had "tee many martooni's" or was happy to lose drinking games so I could blame my excessive drunkenness on someone else. I was definitely a "problem drinker", and, though I occasionally stopped after a drink or two, I would usually drink until the alcohol was gone or I was too drunk or sick to keep going.

So, would I be considered a "true alcoholic"? Or just an addict that cannot/should not drink?" Just wondering.

Hi OWW!

For me, I took the label out of the equation...trying to decide whether I am or not an alcoholic is just leaving a door open for me to go back. So I tell myself it doesn't matter. Alcohol is simply bad, and I love myself too much (now) to swallow poison.

Love the new Avatar...did you paint that?

it's oil pastel. I haven't used them lately, but I used to in high school. I drew the avatar drawing in 2008.

It's fantastic! Love it!

It may be possible for someone who used/abused or was addicted to illegal drugs to drink. Maybe. I base that solely on posts on the substance abuse forum from folks who say they can drink without issue.

However, in my personal experience, no one I know, including myself, who used drugs drinks like a normal person. We are just replacing an illegal substance with a legal one. The reason we want to get high remains the same, only the method has changed.

What she said! Exactly, what she said. To me, it is a distinction without a difference.

Defintely agree LaFemme.

LF, I like your philosophy. The label shouldn't matter...doing what's good for ourselves is important

Real alcoholic, real addict, or both, doesn't matter, the solution is still the same. It is helpful to find your truth, but either way don't allow yourself to suffer from the delusion that it is alright for a real addict to drink or for a real alcoholic to shoot heroin.

Like I said in the other thread along these lines, I wouldn't get too hung up on the terminology. If you think drinking is a problem then you probably shouldn't do it.

I agree with the rest. Labels are not the important issue. Why you drink is the question I would be asking. I have a self diagnosed “addictive prone personality”. I can get hung up on ANYTHING, good or bad. I work very hard to eliminate the bad ones and cultivate the good ones. Years ago I was a workaholic. Work is a good thing (helps pay the bills and all that stuff) but carried to excess it can be very damaging. Ask my ex. The same thing is true in every area of life. Get rid of the bad and keep the good stuff.

"Normal drinkers" don't ever consider the possibility of alcoholism being a threat. If you've had the concern, chances are there is a problem which needs addressing.

Don't get caught up in the semantics. Do what you know in your heart to be true.

I've never been a fan of labels....

I also started out *only* a heavy drinker when I went out - which wasn't by any means all too often...

But with the normal alcoholic progression, it eventually caught up with me... and I ended up a 'round the clock' drinker - something I'd not wish on my worst enemy...

OWW... the term "Real Alcoholic" comes from AA - specifically the Big Book on page 21. On p.20 - 24 the book tries to clarify the differences between the different types of people who have trouble with booze. It refers to the "hard drinker" as someone who would appear to most ppl to be an alcoholic....they're having big problems with drinking, so on and so forth but, in the end, the "hard drinker" hasn't lost the power of choice - they're able to summon their will power, make a decision to stop and (through any various methods) stop drinking.

In contrast, the "real alcoholic" summons up their will power, sets their mind to quitting, maybe even makes all sorts of changes in their life.......but never manages to follow through with quitting their drinking. The "real alcoholic" has lost the power to choose to "just not drink." The real alkie and the hard drinker may drink exactly the same amounts, with the same frequency, and get into the same trouble......but the big difference is one has the ability to quit on a non-spiritual basis whereas the other does not have that power.

As an AA'r, I try not to use the term "real alcoholic" here on this site because most of the ppl not in the program take it offensively - as if I (we in AA) are calling them somehow "less-than-alcoholics" or something of that nature. They make the assumption that we in AA are making light of their drinking and/or their troubles.

"Real Alcoholics" (as the term is used in the AA book) are folks who cannot quit drinking on a non-spiritual basis. "Real alcoholics" (as it's used in the AA book) are people who can't control the amount they drink once they start and they can't keep from starting up again after they've stopped. It has NOTHING to do with frequency, amounts, levels of physical addiction, amount of trouble the drinking has put you in, or any other stuff like that.

Can't control how much you drink once you start - strike 1
Can't stay stopped - strike 2
- congrats, you're a "real alcoholic" as defined by the AA Big Book. -- and really, that's a booby-prize because if you meet those qualifications, you're basically destined to die an alcoholic death OR find a spiritual solution to your problem.

hope that helps......

and I'm a bit tired.....so if I left something out, someone please correct me. :)

Perhaps these threads would better be suited in the 12 step forum?

Well, since alcohol is progressive and goes from early stage to late stage, it would be hard to have a single definition I think. And since it's a mind-altering drug, I would think addicts would want to stay away from it, just like alcoholics wouldn't want to take up doing benzos.....

The tendency to drink "until it's gone" is something I think most alcoholics can certainly relate to.

oh man, I think I had my very worst drunk on those...... :run

No matter what you decide to call yourself OWW, my advice would be to avoid anything that might lead to you going back there...or getting worse - why poke the tiger? :dunno:
D

Yeah duh you're an alcoholic.

A short story. I told a good friend I felt I was an alcoholic. He said "could I be an alcoholic too? It seems like I drink beer almost every day." I said how much do you drink when you drink? He said "I usually have one, but sometimes I'll have two".

The only times I've been able to have one or two beers in my life, theres been really intense social pressure to not drink or only have one or two, i.e. a company party. I cannot drink one or two. I don't even want to think about that prospect.. its making me thirsty. And when I get thirsty, I don't get thirsty for one beer. I don't even mentally imagine one beer. I either imagine a case or a six pack or maybe the biggest stein sized glass of beer ever made. Other people don't think that way because they don't give a crap about beer its nothing to them.

Alcoholic or not?
 

Ask yourself this one question...can you live without it?

Then you'll know......

Why? The OP never mentioned the 12 steps or AA, and only a one of the responses did.

Well, have heard alcoholism described on countless occasions as the inability to control ones drinking.

Would you have a problem with describing yourself as an alcoholic, or just describing yourself to others as an alcoholic?

Btw, I limit that description of myself to a very select group.

And that label doesn't define who I am.

One of my favorite quotes from Earl H.

Hi OWW-- I agree with what LaFemme said -- to me, what it's called matters less than why it's important.

Alcohol was far and away my big problem, but to offer a flipside perspective, sometimes I abused drugs the way you describe abusing alcohol. By the time I quit drinking, I rarely used drugs, but I realized when I quit drinking that this would mean no pot either, and definitely nothing harder. These things are deeply tied together in my mind and I simply can't recover unless it's from all mind-altering substances. So, from my point of you, it sounds like quitting drinking entirely would be a good idea for you. Good luck and :hug:

Thanks everyone, this is all semantics really, I was not going to drink either way, I was just curious about the label "real alcoholic". Well, I certainly could not control my drinking, so I guess I am a "real alcoholic".

I ask this not because I am looking for an excuse to drink (I am an addict and therefore powerless over ANY mood/mind altering chemical) but because there are times in AA that I feel judged for not having drunk as much as the people whose main deal was alcohol. There are plenty of things I can relate to (powerlessness, driving intoxicated, feelings of worthlessness, recovery) and things I can't relate to (blackouts, liver damage, etc). I guess though I am a "high bottom" alcoholic (SO FAR. If I choose to drink again, my bottom might not be so high!) but an alcoholic nonetheless.

Thanks for clearing that up for me.

According to the Mayo Clinic: "When you have alcoholism, you lose control over your drinking. You may not be able to control when you drink, how much you drink, or how long you drink on each occasion. If you have alcoholism, you continue to drink even though you know it's causing problems with your relationships, health, work or finances."

Treatment for this type of alcoholism can include but is not limited too; learning skills and establishing a treatment plan, peer support and treatment for psychological problems.

I have this type of alcoholism and my program for recovery is secular in nature. I agree with those that have wrote forget the labels if they pose a hindrance to recovery. I feel the actual problem of alcohol abuse/dependence is vastly more important than any label assigned to it. Especially if the label becomes a point of contention.

19 year old walks into an AA meeting and says hes been drinking for 5 years. 50 year old says he drank for 30 years and the kid is not much of an alcoholic.

Kid says you were able to live through 30 years of drinking? You must not of been drinking anything like me. You must not be that serious of an alcoholic.

:rotfxko:lmao

I'm not a drug addict so can't speak for myself but I attend a chemical dependency program with people who have all sorts of addictions. I have a number of friends there who are back for their second time because although they were abstinent from their drug of choice, they thought drinking was OK, but once they started drinking, it didn't give them what they were missing from their DOC, and so went back out in search of that drug. Now they choose not to drink alcohol, and it seems like the safer choice.

Personally, I'm an alcoholic, and marijuana never really had any effect on me, but I still don't smoke pot when it's offered -- you just never know. I'd rather keep myself away from any substances that might be problematic, my sobriety is too important.

GG

HA! That is so me. I used drugs since I was 11 but not seriously until I was 19 (I am 24 now). Almost died several times, OD'ing was a regular occurrence for me. My sponsor used for 25 years, 9 of which were IV'ing every day. I am amazed by this, because I am sure I would never make it TO 25 if I'd kept on the way I was going!

Well, for me the labels alcoholic or addict are not that far apart. I had a crappy childhood and found drugs first, then moved laterally across to alcohol when I joined the Air Force, went overseas, didn't have drugs easily available anymore and had a lot of peer pressure to drink.

After I came back from the service I joined corporate America, so that meant "acceptable" drugs, meaning ones that would not show up in a p*ss test, so again, alcohol was easiest. By the time my life fell apart, it was pretty much straight booze because that was easiest and cheapest and I was very used to it.

I never considered myself an 'addict', but when I quit drinking I quit drugging, too, because it just seemed pointless to do all the hard work of being sober and not be, well, sober. My problem, as I saw it, was not that a substance had taken over my life, but that I'd never had the courage to live clean.

When I made the commitment to actually live, I had to drop all the labels as irrelevant. To dwell on the labels was to look at the problem from the wrong end of the telescope - instead of seeing myself as a loser who couldn't control my drinking or drugging or fears or whatever, I had to see myself as strong enough to handle life on my own no matter what. Glass half-full as it were.

I still drink coffee. One of these days I may be able to face a morning without it, but then again maybe not :)