JOBL, As a 20yr AA'er I just gotta stick my nose in here. AA is a reflection of society as a whole. Just like there's an a@#hole in every bar there seems to be one at every meeting. Some meetings are all about the gut wrenching part of it, and some are a non stop belly-laugh. Keep trying different ones. I picked my sponser because he was one of the happy drunks. He loves to poke fun at himself as well as AA in general. Not one bit of it is mean spirited, it's all in fun. You WILL find people who are happy and want to celebrate there sobriety. I am one of them.

All the best, Ron

Hi JOBL and welcome!

You weren't spealing out of place...SR is an open place where people approach their sobriety from a variety of places and experience.

I don't do AA or any formal program but if I was interested in giving it a try I would try a number before making up my mind about it:)

Congrats on 4 weeks!

I didn't have the experience you did at my first meeting, but I will share a story with you. I have probably been to well over a thousand meetings in my time. So, when I moved to a new area, I had an idea of what type of meeting I was looking for.

I went to this meeting close to my home. For the first three meetings all they did was talk about God. It started to drive me nuts since I don't believe. I have nothing against God, but I prefer talking about topics that are more tangible to me. I said to myself that I will give this meeting one more shot and then I am looking elsewhere.

When I went back to this meeting on my 4th time, I heard the most powerful share in my AA career. It left me in a state of awe for a couple days. I am glad that I went back. Since then, I have developed some wonderful friendships with these people who first started to drive me nuts. Plus, there is a lot of discussion on tangible topics. I just caught a steak of God-centered topics when I first went.

However, you may or may not have a similar experience, but you should give AA at least a couple tries before you form an opinion. Try different groups and meetings with different formats.

Or try a different type recovery group. Depending where you are located, AA is not the only game in town. Or if you are comfortable doing what you are doing, then keep doing it. I believe that there are many different paths to recovery. AA is not the only way and it is not for everyone. However, I don't think you can form an accurate assessment by just going once. As others said, different meetings will have different personalities. There may or may not be a less 'doom and gloom' meeting around you, but you may have to search it out.

Anyways, I hope you find what you are looking for and congrats on your 4 1/2 weeks and keep up the good work. That is most excellent.

I;m glad you are willing to explore the benefits of AA
:yup:
I left my 1st meeting at half time...
"Gees! I'm not that bad off!"


3 years later I returned to AA...because I was not staying sober
and my depression was edgeing on insanity.

All my best as you move forward ..:yup:

Exactly... good stuff lushwell

Now, well, I've made some friends, I have a great home group and most of all I get to see the program in action... and I might even make a difference for someone else...

Amazing how we change, and, uh, AA didn't!!

Hey JOBL: I agree that you should not make a decision about AA on the basis of one meeting. By the same token, don't feel as though something is wrong with you if you conclude that AA isn't for you. While lots of people love AA, others don't....and ALL of us can get sober. The key is finding what helps YOU. If you hang around here long enough you'll see that we all do this sobriety thing a little differently, and that's totally ok.

OTT

I am working the steps honestly and giving it a try. I did a 90 in 90 as well. I am still feeling it out. I may not always attend AA but right now its helping. I know plenty of people who went for a few years and then stopped going or really cut back. Who knows where I will be in a few years.

Sometimes AA and NA meetings do make me think about using more or leave me depressed. I don't know why that is. Other times I walk out of meetings feeling great. I go to all types of meetings, I'd guess this is more of an issue with me rather than AA.

It is not the only way to get sober and is not for everyone. I really think a major component of getting clean and sober is doing something. Volunteering, meeting new people, getting out of your house etc. AA provides this, but it can be done in other ways as well.

All I know is that if I do decide to stop going in the future that I gave it an honest shot. For me, its all about doing the right thing. Does wonders for the guilty conscious too.

You are right, AA isn't for everyone. Thank goodness there are options out their that are based on science. I use SMART Recovery. Other options are Rational Recover, Life Ring, Secular Sobriety and a bunch of others.

There are many options out there to help you stop drinking. I hope you find one that help. One that I know works is just stop putting ethanol in your mouth and swallowing it. That one works all the time. But it sure took a long time for me to grasp. I must be a bit simple.

I would like to add Allen Carr to your excellent list.
Great post.

Ditto on Allen Carr..probably the most influential book I read:)

Thanks for the Allen Carr recommendation. I just bought the book and am curious to see what his approach is.

I went an AA meeting, and kind of felt the same way you did. I felt a lot of sadness in the room, but it helped me understand the seriousness of this disease.

My sponsor Matt is always reminding me that "I might be new to AA but I'm not new to the World". These people existed in AA before I got there and will continue to exist, there or anywhere for that matter; The question is How do we deal with them? I was always told two things...

*Never judge a book by its cover and
*Never take what another alcoholic says for granted

Why? you might ask...simply put...they might save my sobriety one day, thats why. Besides...I have choices today, attending other meetings is one of them.
Keep plugging along...you will find the right meeting...I did.
:discuss

I keep the focus on myself regardless of how others may focus in on me.

JOBL- Sorry you had a bad experience. Totally okay to write about it here. I have had the experience of having more cravings after a meeting (and not just AA meetings).

I don't use AA now, but I had such a fabulous experience at my first few meetings. Wish everyone did.

Some meetings are great and some not so great. Or you can explore different recovery programs. I tried every recovery program near me. And lots of people stay sober without meetings. (But I like the face-to-face contact.)