Originally Posted by keepcominback (Post 2278346)

Don't give up, tomorrow is a new day! Do you have a sponsor? Do you attend AA meetings? Do you have the desire to stop drinking and create a great life? If you go to AA, do you have a Big Book? Put down the schnapps, and start reading it if you like.

Start at doctor's opinion, read on up pgs, 1-164 of book! Do you know how to make a list of your fears and resentments, and how to ask for them to be removed yet?

Has anyone shown you how they work the steps, from the book, taken you through the steps, in the book?

Make a list, I have resentment at __________, because I have fear _______.

I will share an example from my own life.

I have resentment at myself, because I have fear I drank again.
I have resentment at myself, because I have fear I feel hopeless at times.

I have fear I won't be able to get my life together...examples...

You can write the resentment, or just state the fear, write out as much as you can, then write at the bottom, if you choose to,

Please God Remove these fears and resentments, I pray only for knowledge of your will for us, and the power to carry that out, Amen.

When the fears come up, "Stop, Drop, and Roll" that pen across the paper, get it down, write it out, then either rip it up, or (5th step it) and share it, read it with an understanding and trustworthy person, sponsor, or otherwise of your choosing. The action of getting the stuff out/down on paper, asking for it to be removed, is willingness to have your problems solved. This persistance to take your inventory, even if it sounds stupid, or you don't feel like doing it, do it anyway, this trains your brain my sponsor says to think differently, into positive habits, and recovery growth, and freedom from fears, and resentments, and anxiety! Whew, sorry so long....

I have 7 days today. You can do it, if I can do it! :)

It takes what it takes...but I just got home from a speaker meeting, and the speaker said in her opinion that we do have the power to choose, we do have choice...

Are you willing? I know I am. Take it easy on yourself, please.

I understand. It can be difficult to say the least. What can you do, either, continue on or change course...launch into a new course of action, get with someone that can help you, go seek a winner and ask for help, because it is hard to do it by yourself, or at least when I tell myself I can do it by myself, I find myself drunk.

So...I need others to help me, and perhaps you can get an in person support team together? Yeah? Believe in yourself, and become the person you can be, forget the fear, just try again, okay?

God Speed! :):c032:

Originally Posted by chip (Post 2278352)

Hi Clay,
I just want to chime in here and give you some support. It's not uncommon to have some set backs. It is important to keep trying.

Most people on this forum have very similar experiences. Please don't give up on yourself. You are not alone. In early recovery, many of us find these experiences are valuable learing opportuinites. These things hurt, but pain can be a great motivator.

Alcoholism is a disease. You are suffering from a disease, and you are not a bad person. Now that you know your weakness, what can you do to prevent slips from happening in the future? What did you learn from this experience?

Only you can answer this quesiton: Are you an alcoholic? If you are, then you can be sure that there is hope. This might sound weird, but acceptance seems to be the first step in most recovery programs. Once a person accepts powerlessness, he/she might be able to move forward into recovery.

For me, once I hit my "bottom", the true nature of my malady became apparent to me. It was then that I became willing to change. Fear and pain drove me to my knees. Once I accepted the fact that I cannot drink like a normal person, and alcohol is poison to me....I became willing to change. What did I have to change to get and stay sober? Everything. I had to change everything.

Change can be good. If it's time for a change in your life, we are here to support you. If not, keep coming back. We are here to support you through your stuggle.

I hope you can find some strength and hope today.
chip