There are a couple like that at the group I frequent. I suppose it's a good opportunity for me to practice patience and a few other of our principals.

Occasionally though, I feel compelled to mention that not everyone at an AA meeting is an alcoholic - and that's ok by our traditions, and that it's not mandatory for people to share information that's truthful, accurate, or even in line with the AA program that we're supposedly here to discuss. :)

Yes, it can be annoying especially when you know the person is going to jump right to "correct" you. So, I avoid sharing anything perhaps viewed as controversial by others attending. I don't like leaving a meeting feeling down.

In my experiences many meetings have a core group of members who set the tone. But even a core group can become fractured over time.

I like meetings and I like many in the fellowship. So, whenever possible I avoid the drama.

Yes, I agree he may have a choice and so he would be sharing only his experience IF he didn't always emphasize that WE have a choice and "we" means all of us.

It's my defects of pride, security, and fear that pop up and make me want to defend myself, but I just say to myself, "Thy will be done."

And thank you. The avatar is a painting by Gerhard Richter.


Very true and good point. Normally, I try to stick to my own experience as a real alcoholic who has lost the power of choice. I don't really understand hard drinkers, to be honest. To have the ability to tie one on like you mean business and yet be able to stop or moderate or even choose when you drink is beyond my wildest dreams, lol.

Generally cross talk is frowned upon, but certain old timers can get away with it. I very much try to avoid drama too, but if my experience can help that new person who is struggling to identify than I feel like that is why I am there, if that makes sense?

Yes, I can't recall attending a meeting where cross talk was allowed.

It just leads to arguments or worse.

Cross talk: Not long ago a member shared he wasn't sure about the existence of God or a higher power. When he finished another member jumped in and with a loud voice began to refute what was just heard. The initial speaker cut him off saying he wasn't trying to put down anyone's faith. The second speaker settled down a bit and the meeting continued with no further tension.

Although it often occurs in a roundabout way. I can see how problematic crosstalk might become if openly allowed.

thats what the program helped me do. by working the steps, i gained the power of choice over the 1st one. if i didnt have the power of choice over the first one, i wouldnt be able to go anywhere there is alcohol. slap a bottle of jim beam down in front of me and i would drink it.
but i have the choice today to not allow that to happen. i react sanely and normally.safe and protected so long as i stay in fit spiritual condition.

First let me say that I have always respected your input on this forum and I absolutely mean no disrespect.

My problem with having a choice over the first one goes like this:

I have tried before to only drink on certain occasions. At one point, I decided I would just drink on holidays. I would get as drunk as I wanted! But only on holidays. Now, if I have a choice over the first drink, then that should not be a problem for me. I simply choose to drink on Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, etc. True, I can't stop after the first one ... big deal! I'm only drinking 4 times a year. The day after this holiday binge, I simply choose not to have the first one until the next holiday.

Problem is, I can't do that. I can't decide which days and times I drink. I can't choose to have the first one today and tomorrow choose not to. Once I pick up a drink, I lose control over when I stop -- in the long term! I may not have a drink the next day, but I also might. I just don't know when it will happen, regardless of my own plans and devices.

So for me, I just don't choose at all. I surrender the choice to my HP and let my HP handle it. So far, so good.

Make sense?

Only when I was younger I set out to get drunk. Looking back, I wasn’t the legal age to be drinking.
As I aged, I used the alcohol to self medicate.

I’m inclined to think this opiate crisis has a lot to do with self medicating.
People have lost their faith. AA was the God send in that regard to me. Don’t drink, trust God, clean house and help others.

Being able to look in the mirror each day is my Barometer

makes sense to me. if its workin thats all that matters.
as for me, theres one line in the big book that comes to me when i have a choice to make:

Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use.

I did a lot of drugs but my favorites were weed, Adderall/molly/X(anything in the upper category), tramodol and gabapitine. I would take anything that could get me high.

Brealair, I don't know what any of those are except for tramadol, which I think we have in our first aid kit.

Welcome to SR BTW. Glad to have you here!

Hi Captain,

In the book it talks about the absolute inability to leave it alone no matter how great the risk, finding oneself pounding on the bar wondering one ever got started again, the doctor (I think) saying if we didn't take the first drink the craving could never get us, but as we always do, the problem centres in the mind.

Then on the matter of chosing to take the first drink as many believe they did, there is the example of the jaywalker He is clearly insane making the choice to jump into the traffic all the time. Such a person would be sectioned and locked up for their own safety. His choice to jump out is clearly ridiculous, and society would view it as an insane act rather than a choice.

That is how the fatal first drink got down my neck. My mental faculties were not operating effectively, realistically, logically, or sanely. A lot of the time I had no conscious memory of taking the first drink. I suppose I might have chosen it in one sense, but wouldn't I really be confusing choice with insanity?

Don't drink, trust God, clean house, help others? IME as I have acted on the second, third and fourth suggestions, God has taken care of the first. :)

This discussion reminds me of my first post here at SR. I was a week sober and scared of drinking again. Looking back now, what I learned from this experience was how I had lost the power of choice. I think the post really sums up where alcohol had taken me and how I no longer had the power to choose when I drank:

My first post at SR - How do you know when you're really done drinking?

For me, once the idea of having lost the power of choice sunk in, I really surrendered to a power greater than me for the first time. I believe that surrendering was crucial for me. I have not had a drink since.

That was a lively thread eh?

:lmao

I was so out of it I didn't even notice, but yeah, there was a lot going on!

Interesting thought!

I’ve always heard, the bottom is when you quit digging that or your bottom is six foot under..

I’ve always been afraid there are worse bottoms left out there.
I’ve always been intrigued by what people called their personal bottoms...

Pagekeeper,
You mentioned your first experience was when you were in your early teens. I met a lady that got into AA at that age and it stuck. She now has 30 years sober at age 45.

I was early 40’s coming into AA and I looked around the rooms and wondered what these old people knew.
Now going on 19 years later, I’m seeing a lot of younger people going to meetings in my rural area. Times are a changing. There are several meetings in my area that still don’t want you to even mention anything but alcohol at a meeting. Some of the old timers still don’t want anyone at a meeting that has a drug addiction. Sadly, there isn’t very many NA meetings in my area. I do hear a lot of addicts saying they like AA better then NA. Been a long time since I’ve even been to an NA meeting to form an opinion.

Yes, I see a lot more younger members in AA these days as well. I think the internet has helped with this. When I got sober there was only the mysterious blurb in the paper: "If you want to drink that's your business. If you want to stop that's ours. Call..." Today you can goggle information on AA to your hearts content.

As far drug of choice. I went to an AA meeting while traveling and it turned out to be a meeting designated for "Young AA" and the average age looked around 20. It seemed meth was a part of every share.

When I got sober there were a few members who were primarily addicts and maybe because one such member was present at my first AA meeting I never thought much about it. To me drink and drugs usually went hand in hand. The huge difference is one legal and readily available and the other isn't.

I sometimes open my share with "When I first came to AA, you all looked old. Now, you all look young".

huh!!! how true!
my nickname early on was "youngtom". basically because we had a few "toms" at my HG.
then i turned 40.
the "young" mysteriously disappeared. :)