~.
One of the first lessons that was practically forced down my throat was that an alcoholic doesn't drink because of something someone says or doesn't say, something someone does or doesn't do.... alcoholics drink because they are alcoholics.
If your A is in a program, it is up to him to find out appropriate responses to people and situations that might be uncomfortable or unmanageable for him. I agree with the others, this is one of those situations over which you are powerless. Whether or not he drinks is up to him, and not anyone else.
I just re-read that, and it sounds harsh. But I also know it's TRUE
HUGS and lots of love
O59