Thanks, Mike - the google trick worked! You are the techno king of my day!! It was part of a post by historyteach:
Enabling
Enabling is defined as reacting to a person in such a way to shield him or her from experiencing the full impact of the harmful consequences of behavior. Enabling behavior differs from helping in that it permits or allows the person to be irresponsible.
PROTECTION from natural consequences of behavior.
KEEPING SECRETS about behavior from others in order to keep peace.
MAKING EXCUSES for the behavior. (School, friends, legal authorities, work, family members.)
BAILING OUT of trouble. (Debts, fixing tickets, paying lawyers, providing jobs.)
BLAMING OTHERS for dependent persons behavior. (Friends, teachers, employers, family, self.)
SEEING THE PROBLEM AS THE RESULT OF SOMETHING ELSE. (Shyness, adolescence, loneliness, child, broken home.)
AVOIDING the chemically dependent person in order to keep peace. (Out-of-sight, out-of-mind.)
GIVING MONEY THAT IS UNDESERVED/UNEARNED.
ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL. (Planning activities, choosing friends, getting jobs.)
MAKING THREATS that have no follow through or consistency.
TAKING CARE OF the chemically dependent person. (Doing what he/she should be expected to for themselves.)