Trying to find a previous post on enabling behavior

Old 07-30-2006, 04:56 AM
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Trying to find a previous post on enabling behavior

That search button works about 1/5 of the time for me - lately not even that frequently! I'm trying to find a previous post with descriptions of enabling behavior - one that struck me was something like "giving the addict things they haven't earned - money, job opportunities at work, etc." Can anyone help me find this post? I need it for a discussion with some co-workers and it was so very insightful!!
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Old 07-30-2006, 09:18 AM
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Hello wishful, sorry the search isn't working. Use Google.com instead. Go to the advanced search and put SoberRecovery.com in the "Domain" box and goole will search only in this site. They don't have the latest posts but they have most of them

I don't know if this is what you're looking for, but it's a good thread.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...alcoholic.html

Mike
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Old 07-30-2006, 10:06 AM
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Thanks, Mike - the google trick worked! You are the techno king of my day!! It was part of a post by historyteach:

Enabling

Enabling is defined as reacting to a person in such a way to shield him or her from experiencing the full impact of the harmful consequences of behavior. Enabling behavior differs from helping in that it permits or allows the person to be irresponsible.

PROTECTION from natural consequences of behavior.
KEEPING SECRETS about behavior from others in order to keep peace.
MAKING EXCUSES for the behavior. (School, friends, legal authorities, work, family members.)
BAILING OUT of trouble. (Debts, fixing tickets, paying lawyers, providing jobs.)
BLAMING OTHERS for dependent persons behavior. (Friends, teachers, employers, family, self.)
SEEING THE PROBLEM AS THE RESULT OF SOMETHING ELSE. (Shyness, adolescence, loneliness, child, broken home.)
AVOIDING the chemically dependent person in order to keep peace. (Out-of-sight, out-of-mind.)
GIVING MONEY THAT IS UNDESERVED/UNEARNED.
ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL. (Planning activities, choosing friends, getting jobs.)
MAKING THREATS that have no follow through or consistency.
TAKING CARE OF the chemically dependent person. (Doing what he/she should be expected to for themselves.)
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