Originally Posted by reikihelps
Would giving him one of the Alanon books (One day at a Time...) to read help? Maybe he can see that it's you you are talking about at the meetings and not him. (A's think they are the only thing we talk about. I think it shocked and confused my A when I told him I was working on me).
I don't think he would read it. I have told him that the focus of the meetings is on ourselves, but I don' think he gets it.
I changed my passwords to something I don't think he'll figure out.
He started again this am....why am I abandoning him? He needs my help..thought we were a team...those people are brainwashing you....I'm the only thing he has...he's tried to make me happy...what about aour marriage...why can't we work on that
I told him that it isn't his job to make me happy, and it's not my job to make him happy. I can't work on our marriage right now, because I have to work on myself first. He needs to work on HIMSELf before we can both work on our marriage. I can't fix him and I can't help him. he has to do it himself. I told him I don't want him to change for me, I don't want him to do any of this for me. i want him to do it for himself. If he decideds to change, it can't be my responsibility, that's too big a burden for me to bear. I feel bad that he is hurting ( there were tears...which is new for him). I wish I COULD do something for him, but I can't.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement.