EyesOpen

It seemed like he had dug his heels in, and that I'd have to do something absurd like change the locks to get him out........

but, when I made up my mind that I was serious, my tone changed and he sensed it. I stopped screaming, being emotional. Started letting my actions speak for me. He responded better to that.

I contacted a lawyer and got a professional appraisal on the house. I suspect that was our turning point -- my A saw this guy walking through our house calcualting how much it was worth. That was a whole different thing than just the two of us bickering with each other..

My A, at first, said he'd never leave. Then, the story became, that he'd never leave without compensation.

After I got the results of the appraisal, I offered him a monetary settlement for the value of the house. (Bribe) I said that he should be able to find someplace suitable to him for that amount.

AMAZING how his tune changed. When he saw that I was serious about giving him the money, he got into action. I never saw anybody pack boxes so fast.

I learned another hard lesson about dealing with alcoholics: They are the most self-serving people on earth. They will do things only when there's something in it for them.

If you want to separate from him, and you want to remain where you're living, you have to figure out what would motivate him to leave.

Maybe money, maybe he'd prefer to live with some relative who doesn't complain about his drinking, maybe he'd like to move in with one of his drinking buddies........

Talking to him about what you want/need is a waste of time. You need to make him think that HE'S better off leaving you with the house.