Originally Posted by lostnotfound
he says he doesn't want to drink anymore and I won't help him. I told him I can't help him, he has to help himself. I can only work on me. (I'm trying really hard to practice detachment right now) So he's playing the "I need you to help me" card. Now that he needs me I'm "abandoning " him.
And "all those people" are filling my head with crap and twisting my thinking and polluting my mind at Al Anon.
God, this sounds familiar!!
Usually when he wanted me to make appointments at the doctors for him (so he could not turn up again!) or make him some food because he was too drunk and lazy to make it himself, or when he was so drunk he was slurring his speech, was in a depressed "woe me" mood and wanted to talk about his "drinking problem" at 3am!
He's just trying to manipulate you, he's a grown man who can help himself if he really wants to!
My ABF put a keylogger on the pc to find out what site I had visited because I had made an avatar and mistakenly left it on the pc..."what site is the avatar for?!" - because I didn't want to tell him he put a keylogger on the pc and thought I was "messing around" on him...of course I wasn't and never have, so when I found the keylogger via a spyware scan, I found it pretty funny that he would go to such extremes because his paranoia was so bad....my paranoia is awful but I have reasons, he's never had a reason not to trust me...
My ABF thinks I should "help" him too...buy his booze, make his food, make doctors appointments...no chance.
The only thing I do for him is buy his food when I do the grocery shopping...
It doesn't matter to him that you're trying to work on yourself, because through his alcoholic fog, he's the most important, what he wants and needs are more important that what you want and need...of course you should help him!! :p Thats what you're there for!!
I've been told a few times that this site "fills my head with bull" and I "shouldnt take notice of everything I read on there"
I guess he doesn't like me being informed, trying to help myself, not running around after him like a lap dog all the time...changing his comfort zone!
And when things don't go there way, they verbally lash out...and it's your life too, of course you have the right to speak to your mother about whatever you like...my abf doesn't like people thinking badly of him either...