Boy you just brought back some bad memories. I can remember when I first found out that my exAH had been checking my email behind my back. I walked in on him one day and he had my email account up and was reading my email! I didn't know whether to be pissed or laugh my ass off about it. I really thought it was funny because he was looking for something that wasn't there. He also just "knew" something was going on behind his back. They are very paranoid. I guess it's part of their disease. I took pride in the fact that there was nothing to find out.
What's really funny is as this disease progressed and things got much worse in our home, I found out he was talking to other women on his cell phone (surprise surprise) and I pulled his cell phone records and when he found out I did this, I thought he were literally going to kill me! So it was okay for him to check my email behind my back, but the fact that I was checking his records was a whole different story. SICK, SICK SICK! We were just both so sick! Thank heavens for Alanon. It saved my life!
You keep going to your meetings and I hope you have as great a sponsor as I do to share these kinds of things with, as she helps me to see things as they really are and not the way the alcoholic likes to try to force me to see them, which is usually very distorted. You keep going to your meetings and hang in there. Remember not to put up with the unacceptable behavior and try to set some boundaries with him. Yes, he will get upset, because his little world will start to close on him. Maybe he'll get some help too!