The only way that I've been known to fully be in recovery is to be completely abstinent for all mind or mood altering drugs. This is what works for me, as well as the Narcotics Anonymous Fellowship. I've learned it's more than the drugs it's a disease of destruction, low-self esteem, self-destructive patterns, inadequecies, among other negative things. I turn my will and my life over to a Positive Power and my life has never been the same. I used to struggle but my struggles are nothing today. I hope you give yourself a break from all drugs and try something different.