I have a lot of people in my past that I know I hurt. I feel that contacting them would be opening up old wounds and disrupting their lives. I think it is selfish to do that to someone just so I can get better. The flipside of that is I feel eternally guilty for some of the things I have done to people. But these are people who have not heard from me in six years or more. There are some that I miss very much. It is a real catch 22.
I don't think these are flipsides of each other. I absolutely can relate since my past is littered with people I hurt. The way I look at this is that I can ask forgiveness from God for my sins. If my relationship with God improves, I forgive myself (a very difficult thing to do), and I become a kinder person in this world then my actions moving forward should speak volumes.
I don't believe that going back and asking forgiveness is the right thing to do because 1) it's opening old wounds 2) I'm not even in contact with most of the people 3) If I believe that another person saying "I forgive you" makes me all better, then I put the power of God in that person.