Doodlebug:
"The 12 steps scare me. Especially 8 and 9..."
8 scares me to. It is:
"Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
I have a lot of people in my past that I know I hurt. I feel that contacting them would be opening up old wounds and disrupting their lives. I think it is selfish to do that to someone just so I can get better. The flipside of that is I feel eternally guilty for some of the things I have done to people. But these are people who have not heard from me in six years or more. There are some that I miss very much. It is a real catch 22.
The only other reason why I have not become involved in AA is because I tend to be a private person and feel self conscience sharing experiences in person. If I ever decided to go back, I think this is something that would get easier with time. I don't know why I don't give AA more of a chance. I guess the main reason is getting through some of those steps.
GJ