Welcome to SR Jen. I see you've met some of our more "passionate" friends here...
The best advice I ever got when I was were you are now, was to get educated about the disease of alcoholism and the effects on the entire family. I went nuts soaking up all the information I could get my hands on. Not sure if it’s been said yet but there are stickys at the top of the F&F forum and some really good ones in the Nar Anon forum as well.