Malcolm, you are ahead of the game IMHO. You know you have a problem, you are reaching out here and seeking answers to that problem. You have a support system in place here where you can get the stuff out of your mind with people who care and want to help. I am sure you would benefit from face 2 face meetings somewhere too if you choose to check it out.
Depression and alcoholism go hand in hand a lot of the time. So does the desire to just escape and not have to deal. I know that's part of what got me sober. My "escaping" almost granted me the permanent escape and I found out that I didn't want to die, I wanted to live, but I didn't want to be controlled by alcohol anymore.
I found that hope in the rooms of AA. I drug in there almost two years ago and was struck by the life these people had shining from them. I saw by continuing to go and listen that many had come from similar circumstances or far worse and had found a way to escape alcohol's pull. That is what gave me the courage to go through the full withdrawals and try this sober thing. Not for a day do I regret it. Now I am one of the laughing smiling faces in the meetings who look forward to the newcomer walking in so I can be reminded of where I came from as well as tell them there is hope.
Hang in there Malcolm, you're doing great by sharing and getting the stuff out of your head. Getting sober is not easy, but the results are so worth it!
Hugs,
Kellye