"Selfish".....means I think only of myself.
"Selfless".....means I think of myself less not that I think less of myself.
I have often heard it said at meetings that "This is a selfish programme"......well......I dont exactly know what that means because The Twelve Step programme is one of the most "selfless" programmes I know of.....For now the "selfish" cliche will have to remain one of those things I hear at meetings that I dont really have any use for........Focusing on my own recovery is not selfishness....it is self preservation.....
Doing for others what they can and should be doing for themselves is in my opinion caretaking and enabling
Focusing on other people's problems is a trick I used early in recovery so I could avoid looking at my own problems and the things in my life that needed fixing.It is so easy for me to get caught up in other peoples lives and waste time talking about what other people are doing....
The desire to help others is part of what makes us human but I dont waste my time trying to help someone who is not trying to help themselves.I can focus my efforts elsewhere.
Peter