brigid,
hang in there. just don't drink. it will all sort itself out. it may suck for awhile but solutions will become apparent. i certainly don't know how or why and you may not feel like you do either. that's not really the point. it just that life has a way of getting out of hand but problems will be resolved if you don't lose control.
people say you can't change someone and sometimes that is true. but if someone is worth a fight you can inspire and change. you must also obviously look out for yourself and make sure you are in a safe and happy place. that's alot to think about.
don't be afraid to use logic over emotion. emotion is so powerful it pulls us into situations we might not need.
well sorry for the mumbo-jumbo. just sad to see your post. keep positive.