Thanks for the replies. I guess here is my issue. I would never blame him for me using, although one time in an argument, he told me that he "hoped I was addicted too".
My addiction isn't the drug, it's my boyfriend. He can't quit coke, like I can't quit him. If I walk away from him then I feel he is being abandoned. Then I feel guilty. It's my guilt issues that I work on in therapy...funny, I am not an "addict" per se, but I am in therapy 2x a week for other issues. Yet he isn't willing to get help.
How do I walk away and leave him alone to do battle with this. For some reason I like him doing battle with me....it's sad. I am addicted, addicted to this disfunction.
I keep meaning to try Naranon,but there aren't a lot of meetings. Is it okay to go to regular NA meetings as a loved one???
I just wish he realized he was an addict....