clancy, he isn't an "only child" but was raised like one, LOL. He has a sister but there is seven years between them. He was the only child between his mother and father. He was very spoiled and got whatever he wanted when he wanted it. His father was/is an alcoholic and his home life was chaotic. He had to tag along with his mother while she looked for his drunk dad, catching him with woman, etc. He had to go places with his dad drunk and act like all was fine while trying not to upset him because he'd get angry/abusive. He played the good son, good grades, into sports, tried to please, etc. He did get into trouble but his mom always made excuses for him, hid things from his dad so he wouldn't get into trouble, etc. It's still this way. His parents have money and bought him out of any trouble he got into. As a teen, things stayed the same and now as an adult, his mom would get him out of anything she could....she'd lie for him, you name it.
If he were sober, I believe he still wouldn't be all that moral, honest, etc. He has turned out to be much like his father. His kindness is surfaced if that makes sense. He claims, "I treat you so well....." because he talks nice and is affectionate. I don't think he really "gets" it or just really believes that treating someone well means you say things like, "I'd do anything for you...."
He can be the nicest guy in the world but it is just on the surface. He also thinks he's nothing like his father....and you know what that means, LOL. Anyone who says, "I am nothing like my father " and gets angry at the thought of it....is in denial of just how much they are like them. He just tries to hide it a bit, that's all.
Maybe sober or with some honesty, a true personal inventory, there is something good waiting to come out.....I just don't see it in this lifetime. Some people are in such deep denial, so distant from their feelings and how something affected them that they won't change it.