Welcome to SR Friend. You have found a GREAT place for some inciteful information, compassion, and understanding.
There is a two letter word you need to practice for EVERYTHING she asks............NO
No I can't help you up the stairs. No I can't help you to the toilet. No I can't take you to the store, but I will pick you up some food. No I can't help you to bed. No I can't help you shower.
NO, NO, NO
You, her friends (the ones she has left) and her parents are enabling her. She won't see how bad she is getting until all help has ceased and desisted and even then it may take some time for her to come out and actually ask for help and admit that she has a BIG probelm with alcohol.
It hurts to see it happen with someone we care about. I know I have been on both sides of the fence. For 24 years I was a falling down drunk, (well only the last couple were where I was falling down). I used and abused people to get them to do what I wanted.
Then due to events ALL OF MY OWN MAKING, I finally got sober. Not only have I now lived sober for a very long time, but I have had many in my life, in sobriety, in the condition (or worse) of your friend. Alanon helped me with that. It was there I really learned how to not "carry the alcoholic" and just "carry the message of recovery."
Please read everything you can here at SR and especially check out our Friends and Family forums. You will find many here who have either been where you are now, or are where you are now.
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing.
JMHO
Love and (((((to all),