Can A Person You Love Be A Trigger???
It sure seems that is wht is going on with me..Ever since my ex got out of jail and has been in the treatment center, every time I see him I think about dope...he is beggin me for another chance and "says" he wants recovery. It is so hard for me ..he was the love of my life and probably always will be, but we have SUCH a using history that when i get around him I think about dope and get that sick feeling inside. We did heroin together for years and he was always the one that went and scored to get us "well"..I don't want to hurt him but this is just the way I feel..I don't know what to tell him..."you make me crave dope , please stay away??" I WISH we could be together clean but we have always ended up using together and I don't have many relapses in me. I am still trying to heal from a few brief relapses that really mess me up in my mind and physically too...Do you think that feeling will ever go away when I am around him??..I swear it feels like a monster is released inside me and my head has been really screwed up for days now.....We used together two weeks ago ..I have been messed up in my head since..Just trying to muscle through each day adn hoping it gets better...
Damn..thanx for letting me get this bit of reality out in the light of day
northbelle