Wow. I'd really suggest you look into counseling for anger management. Don't take that the wrong way. I just think that you may have a tendency to overreact to events, to let your emotions control you (rather than the other way around) and that getting control of that could help you and your family.
Glad you sound less frustrated today. Now...
"I have talked to my Sponsor about this for a long time and my sponsor keeps telling me to look for my part."
Good plan.
Don S