Well, maybe I'm just foolish or a hopeless romantic or both but I'm still hoping for that happy ending. My AH is sober 65 days for the first time in over 15yrs. He attends AA meetings fairly regular 2 to 3 times a week. I attend Alanon weekly and read everything I can about codependancy and do the work required at the end of each chapter (Beyond Codependancy). When he isn't attending meetings daily I see a change in his attitude and he seems to become depressed. But, he's willing to listen to my opinions and observations but I always preface what ever I say that it's up to him to take care of him and up to me to take care of me. It's very difficult, no doubt. But as long as we stay honest with eachother and true to ourselves and our feelings my hope is that over time it will get easier. Old ways will be unlearned and replaced by new ways of living. As long as he's working his program and taking care of his business I have decided that I want to be in this marriage. I too have contributed to his addiction by never allowing him to suffer the consequences of his actions. That was not love that was my sickness brought about by years of living with an active AH. I don't know what our future holds but just for today I'm thankful for his sobriety and my continuing journey to discover true happiness within myself and not from outside sources or people. I hope that mine will be a happy ending. Today was good and, tomorrow hasn't come, the past is over and the future is impossible to predict. Living in the present and working on myself is what I intend to keep doing. I hope he continues to do the same. A happy ending is going to take a lot of work on both of our parts but we are committed to giving it all we have to get there. He's worth every bit of effort I put into our relationship and I am worth every bit of effort he puts into our relationship. I am a person who strives to see hope in everything, even when things seem hopeless. Life is forever changing but until recently I didn't see the need for me to change. Now I know that change in my life is up to me only. Change in his life is up to him. Our psychotherapist has told us it is possible to maintain our relationship and even grow closer because of this experience but it's up to us to do the next right thing for ourselves by ourselves. So, although the journey to get there may be a long and bumpy road we've chosen to do it together, separately if that makes and sense?