Hi confused_jen
I know what you mean - this was my thinking at the "beginning," too. I just wanted to hear someone say that it had all worked out. What I didn't realize back then was that working out didn't necessarily mean staying together. I have met people whose SO's did recover and the relationship continued. So yes, it's possible. I have learned along the way that isn't my goal anymore.
We say that an alcoholic has to want to recover/change for themselves. I believe that is true for us, too. If part of that process is realizing just what is being given up by destructive behavior (on both sides) then you can change yourself based on what you want to keep in your life. But you can't change hoping the other person will respond the way you want or think.