I now know not to put my life on hold waiting for "progress" from another person. I really am taking it one day at a time and basing all my decisions on the facts that are present during the time in which the decisions need to be made (if that makes sense LOL).
When I think about all this, I think that it is a somewhat selfish, codie way of thinking in ways such as "if he/she does this or that I will consider that 'enough progress' and possibly take him/her back." I don't think it's unfair considering what we have all been through to NEED our A to "prove themselves" though. It's a delicate situation, but at the same time I also think the A's progress is something we needn't get too caught up in. We cannot allow ourselves to be that wrapped up in someone else's decision making. These questions only arise b/c of our new-found growth. We are ultimately seeking what is best for US and our peace in the long run and want to make the "right" decisions. I guess it's really up to the individual whether or not to let go completely or try again. How long??? However long you are willing to feel that "your life is on hold."