Hey(((Jen)))
There are people who can get their lives on track. I think it takes effort on both peoples part not just one. I believe in order for a relationship to work there has to be some kind of balance. The balance looks different to each individual. Are you looking for a relationship where each person gives 100%? It is difficult to get 100% out of someone who is still in love with their drinking or drugging.
It requires honesty and devotion I think to get past the damage done to a relationship that has been torn apart by addiction. Both people have to change. We have to stop doing what we did that supported the disfunction and believe me that is just as difficult as what the A in our lives has to go thru to get clean and sober.
For some people it is best to do what is necessary to get themself clean and sober reguadless of what others around them are doing. We codies have to stop blaming their drinking on our disfunction cause we would not be involved with an A in the first place if we did not have some baggage of our own so I think it is key to for us to get real if we want or expect an A to get real with us...