its so sad as he just wants to be loved and he has so much love to give he just doesnt love himself at all,
I can relate to that one. It is SAD and that is all there is to it. Throughout all this, my AH has said things like, "every serious relationship I've had ends just like this." Of course I'm thinking, "Duh!!! Hello!!!" I did tell him that now is the time for you to stop this crazy cycle that has become your life. You are the only one that can do it! I'm trying to empower him, but I will not be there for him in the wake. Truly, when you think about it, it is ALL up to them to make a change for their OWN lives. They are the ones that have created this mess and they are the ones that ultimately need to face the consequences and take an opportunity to do better. If they cannot or refuse to learn from their mistakes then so be it. We don't have to sit around and wait for this elusive day when they "MAY come around." All we can do sometimes is give their lives back to them and let them run with it. If/when they fail then so be it. We don't have to endure with them and pick up their pieces for them. We can have our own lives and be happy. We can make our decisions for our future and it's not that we're "the bad guy," it's that we're "the smart guy."