Albion I truly understand your pain. I was 3 years sober, when my sponsor suggested I join Al-anon to enhance my program and learn how to deal with the alcoholics in my life.
That was just about 22 years ago now and Al-anon has been a BIG help. It gave a different perspective on those 12 steps and how to apply them to ME. See what your sponsor says and then if sponsor is agreeable give Al-anon a try. What al-anon showed me was a whole NEW side to this "dis-ease" that I suffer from and gave me new tools for acting and reacting with the A's in my life.
As to your partner, she has to find her own way. Pushing you away, very probably was a way of giving herself what she thought would be a "free road" to drink whenever she wants.
Just remember the 3 C's, you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
Love and (((((to all))))),