The effects of alcohol on the brain last a long time. sober alcoholics are still alcoholics and it could well still be the alcohol talking for weeks afterwards. Brain cells that grew under the influence of alcohol have to be replaced by new cells. Alkies like to blame others, it's so much easier than kicking their own problems. It could also be that you have not changed nearly as much as you think you have and that he's not being completely off base when he complains. Obsession is a hard thing to kick, as bad as alcohol. And it's also possible that both of you are better but your trust in each other is fatally damaged by his alcoholism and your obsession. Trust is so fragile.