Hi; there are excerpts from the Getting Them Sober Books by Toby Rice Drews on her website. If you go to the site at :
http://www.GettingThemSober.com and look on the left side for the link, click and go to Book 4 and you can read the chapter called:
"Chapter 5: The Alcoholic Does Not Exist Separately from the Alcoholism " that I think deals with this very topic. I found it very helpful, hope you all do,too!