In order for him to see change in you and have awareness of what is going on he would have to have insight. He would have to take the time and energy to evalute the situation. Most alcoholic's don't have that ability. They hear what they want to hear and believe what they believe. Its just easier for them to process life that way.
Exaggerating the reality oh yes, it helps them to justify their actions. Also when they have black outs they don't really remember what happened so sometimes they have to make things up. On one ocassion I was fed up and left for a 2 days, when my family and friends called he said I had been gone 3 weeks and that is why he was drinking.
I can relate to the perfectionist peace, when things were falling apart I wanted everything to look good on the outside for those looking in....ouch I drove me and everyone in my house crazy. The key was recognizing it and doing something about. Don't know if that helps, it's just my experience. I have left that situation after 24 years. Very hard to do but I had to save myself and my sanity.