the reoccuring theme here appears to be get on with our lifes and leave him out to dry until he figures it out for himself.
That's correct. And on this thread you've heard the same responses from friends and families of alcoholics as well as recovering alcoholics themselves. It's hard to dish out tough love, but sometimes it's necessary.
Make yourself comfortable and stick around a while. You're among friends here. Welcome to SoberRecovery.