Tg, when my ah got into a terrible car wreck, he was gone ALL NIGHT. I was up pacing the floors. I was angry, picturing he was out with another woman. But, there was that part in me who was scared he was dead on the side of the road. He last called at 10 pm, saying he'd be home shortly. Although it was like him to say one thing and do another, typically, he just wouldn't have called if he were out doing stuff he shouldn't be. When he called, he was drunk. I told him he shouldn't be driving....he blew me off. In any event, he got into that wreck at midnight. His car flew deep into the woods off the interstate, nobody found him until 9 am.
Getting to my point, part of me felt glad this happened. Not glad he was hurt, not glad to see him looking like that or having to go through what he went through but glad that something happened due to his drinking. I was glad because I felt as if I had the upper hand. I could say what I wanted regarding his drinking and be justifiied. I was finally RIGHT!
I told him all about his drinking, what it did to everyone, etc. I told him he could never drink again, needed to get help, etc. He agreed. OH boy. he was finally "getting it."
Guess what? He got it for as long as he needed too "get it." In other words, until I started to act normal again. Now, he drinks as he always has, just hides it from some he used to not (his mom, a few friends, etc).
My point is, if you have those same feelings....and I would imagine you do, just know you are right and justified and all those other things. But that doesn't mean it'll change him. You might have to live by your threat.
Another thing, I really wish I would have left after his accident. I thought it would have been horrible to leave while he was down and hurt. But now, I KNOW it would have been the best time to leave....for him and for ME.