That is exactly how it feels, like I'll snap and never be able to stop and end up rocking back and forth in a corner going dah dah dah dah... it is a true fear. As rediculous as it probably sounds.
I fight it so hard I have literally passed out from holding my breath to keep from crying. Obsurd.
I am very grateful for all of you. I feel better. Just knowing someone gives a damn is enough to pull one back from the ledge a bit... not that Im there but I have romanced thoughts and thats MORE than enough.
So, I got my ass back here. I know I seem hard core but I am a sweet girl. Just seems noone/thing will allow me to be that girl.
Gotta fight like a rapid dog and Im learning alot of that is because I EXPECT a fight so I already have my gloves on and hopping up and down. Maybe if I put my gloves away people will take me differently.
Though everytime I have ever tried that all that happened is people mistake my kindness for weakness and they eventually get my wrath anyway.
