Well Beachbabe, I'm so glad that you posted. I've wondered how you were doing.
And, you've learned an invaluable lesson about addiction - that stopping the drinking/drugging is only the beginning. That's when the real work starts and it's hard to keep at it. But, it's the only road to choose to live a good a life. You can do this. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad after such a long time, but it's to your credit that you're sticking with it and going to beat this thing.
Keep posting because there is lots of support and encouragement and advice here.