Thanks Best. Well Everyone its 11:00 a.m. here I'm still planning on going.
I don't really want to go to the all woman one. But, its early. I hate meetings at 8:00 and 9:00. pm I'm usually passed out by then. I wouldn't make it till 8:00 p.m. without a drink or changing my mind.
Again, this just sucks. I can't think of anything else to say, but this just sucks.
I come from a family of eight kids. Two out of the 8 are drunks. Lucky freaken me.
The youngest of them all. 40 year old. As evil as this sounds, I'm jealous and angry that it was me that was chosen. Even my birth for my mom was hard. Almost died as a baby. Wasn't that enough. The others popped right out. From the begining I was doomed to have a tough life.
What am I learning. I'm envious, jealous, selfish and just plain stubborn. My mined is mental, my body is addictive. I want to learn something else. But I feel so damn stupid. I can't even go out and act like a loser drunk. No, I have to sit in my house with no kids husband. Just a stupid television and a beer. What a stupid way to live
This sucks I know I keep saying it but for God sake it does.
I don't even have any tears anymore. I"m afraid I"m turning cold.
I have no self worth, I'm not even a good mean drunk. Just sit alone. I can't even do that good. Can't have one nights stands like others, cant' sit in a bar like others.
I should consider myself lucky that I do not like those things but I'm just as bad.
I'm sorry. I'm making myself sick here. Constant complainer I am. I'm just having a darn bad day.
I'm at work and I need to be productive. I need to.
I wish I could just leave now and go to one.
I'm sick