Ok, I am hoping for an honest answer.
1) I asked a person out to a play giving 2 weeks notice and she agreed.
2) Five days before the play I asked if she'd like to go to dinner. She agreed. We both said we'd meet at the restaurant.
3) On the day before the play, I was concerned there wasn't enough time between dinner and the play and asked to go a bit earlier. She said no because it conflicted with her daughters babysitting.
5) I replied that same day and I gave an alternative to go to another place that does not take as long. I did not here from her.
6) Now the next day arrives, the day of the play. It is now 5 hrs before the play and I still have not heard. So I emailed her, that since I haven't heard, I made other plans for dinner and the ticket for the play is still waiting at the box office if she still wants to go.
6) She emails me that she feels I am angry because I said that, and maybe it would be better if she should skip the play and we should get together another time.
7) Now I feel like she just isn't interested and say thank you but maybe it's not best that we should get together again.
8) She says she cancelled plans to go to the play, had many problems with babysitters and if were that concerned I could have called her.
9) At this point, I say I am sorry she had problems and such, but I belive I was fair throughout but she could (should) have called me because I had no ideas about her problems at all. I tell her a ticket is being held at the theatre if she can make it.
10) She does not show up. I go and enjoy the play.
My feeling is that I offered her the tickets two weeks in advance, I asked about dinner and she initially agreed. When shen said maybe dinner isn't a good idea. Well I say OK.
I offer other arrangements for dinner and she still says no.
I didn't here from her until five hours before the play, so I make other plans but still say if she still wants to go, there's a ticket.
Then she feels anger in my email and maybe we should just get together another time and I am thinking why, this sounds like a problem that may become a history.
I know I have issues of control as being an ACOA. But I wonder how far I should go to meet in the middle? Was I fair or controlling?
Thanks in advance to anyone who cares to answer
Ken