Originally Posted by bikewench
Hey Fiya...
Welcome to SR...
Well crap eh...
How could something so right go so wrong.. !!
But yes..
that is life...
If it were a terminal illness.. you would be just as powerless as you are over her drug addiction...
But.. the looming question...
WHY..??
The short answer is that she is chasing feel-good...
And crack is very addictive physicly...
For anyone that has never chased the demon... it's hard to understand...
But.. another addict knows...
You were wise to remove yourself.
That probably more than anything made an impact on her.. as she is even unwilling to talk about it.. even derogatoraly about you...
Deep down.. I know she knows she's throwing her life away...
But.. the lure of the drug and the whole scene is still too alluring...
She hasnt hurt enough to want to get clean and take up her life again..
I hope that you count your blessings... grieve... and move on.
Trust me...
She'll catch up with you if it's meant to be...
I am sending a prayer out for you.. that you be able to understand and detach...
And I pray for her...
And for all addicts that are lost out there.. for they are lost.
Yeah...she's said that a couple times, especially in regard to the people who are closest to her right to my face. So I know she knows. Everyday I say within myself that I'll get through this and I'll be ok with the mindset that whenever times come I have to shed tears (and they come often) or get anything off my chest so it's not bottled up...that I will do them and like you said, grieve and move on.
Funny thing you say about "the scene". The people who I saw day in a day out around that place where working around the clock to get it, or sell it. Looking to get over on each other and sometimes were successful at doing it. Some of the sleepless nights I had out there leading up to my departure, I can remember seeing lights on in houses from the time the sun went down til dawn the next day. My house became one of them while I slept.