blizzard77

I've written my story before but have to admit that I haven't been back to the site in awhile. So much has happened in the past couple of weeks that I just feel weak and overwhelmed.
My husband, who I thought just drank (but recently suspected otherwise) skipped town on a monday "To see his KIds" who live in Deaware. While he was gone my brother in law and his girlfriend who are staying with us started telling me little bits and pieces of what has been going on here in the past couple of months while I was working all friggin day. I called him everyday between 10 and 11am to see if he was up and looking for a job (he's a journalist and was fired in august). He'd sound tired say he just woke up and was going to get applications out before he had to go to his part-time job delivering pizzas and 5pm.
Like I said I suspected something was not right but he kept telling me he was fine and I was being paranoid.
What was really going on was that he had over the course of trying to quit drinking on his own, developed an expensive and dangerous pill addiction. I'm a nurse who deals with drug seekers daily and couldn't see it in my own house.
He skipped off to Delaware because his sister and mom ( one a drunk and one an enabler,like me) would be on his side. (We were fighting about his lack of efforts in looking for work) I said some nasty **** and he took off. He also now says that he had to get away from access of any opiates. His brother tells me he's seen him do pills (many) at a time on a few occasions and that's all it took. I confronted , he denied. I took him off all my accounts, turned off his cell phone and was having new locks put on before he got home.
I could really go on and on about the drama that he caused to all inculding his children and how horrible it was but why bother?
He called crying, saying he wanted to die and that he didn't know what to do? I said " neither do I". He said he wanted to go into in patient rehab and I agreed to support him through that.(I never in a trillion yrs thought he'd ever go to a rehab, I stopped thinking that possible a long time ago)
We had our first family visit yesterday. It was so good to see him. He looked so good. His eyes so clear. His thoughts clear.
He told me he's a liar and has lied to me for years. No infedility but lots of stuff I'll be shocked at. He told me he was up to 150mg of percocet a day, and 10mg of xanax. He said he was also using metadone when he could get it. Lying to me telling me he made $40 in tips when really he made more and bought drugs with it.
I did not show anger to him when he fessed up to the lies and ******** because I knew this was huge for him to be honest.
I'm glad he's doing good and has attended every meeting since his admission but his abrubt change in attitude is a little hard to beleive even though I WANT to believe it.
God he could have killed himself by accidentally over-dosing.
What was he thinking?
How do you begin to trust a man that looks you in the eye and tells you "It's all been lies"?
That just doesn't seem possible to me!