I have been married to my AH for 13 years. The first five years were sober years (dry drunk as I see it now), followed by 2 years of social drinking that included me, then five years of binge drinking excluding me totally. (he had "friends" to drink and party with if you know what I mean).
December 2005, went into treatment, I thought my prayers were answered and I guess in a way they were, but treatment was followed by a year of the worst hell I have ever been through in my life. I stuck it out. Why? 1. I have a deep love for this man and knew he was a wonderful person sober. 2. He was working very hard to change and I chose to give that a chance. 3. What he endured from me in that year, no human should have to endure, but he stuck it out with me because he loves me also. 3. I was damned if I was going to go through all this with him, the drinking, cheating, lying, treatment, counseling, aftercare. See him get better and then turn him over to some other woman to enjoy the benefits of all the hard work we did together....lol.
I think we are over the hump, but he knows if he goes back to the way he was, I go, no looking back, no contact, no more second chances. I have told him this is a one shot deal, no drinking, no cheating and no beating (never has, but just throw it in for good measure). He understands and agrees.
Thing is I don't know if I could walk away for just the drinking part, I guess it depended on the circumstances and I have told him that too.