Hi Sunshine I am newly married July this year. I knew my AH drank before the marriage but I am older and felt that I could handle what I had seen and been through. I felt that I am older and wanted a child and now that has all changed. My ah functional responsible duty bound the boss too. Drinks. He doesn't drink every day but most evenings and weekends. His family does too and many have died of liver cancer. He will too I think. He is older too. He doesn't realize there is a problem and sees me lately I think as causing a problem. I have read many posts here about enabling and I do feel I am still a codependant and I am sick of it. I have been a codie for a long time and not with an alcoholic but an adult child of an alcoholic my mom. I am tired. I need to make a move but I stay because I love the idea of finally being loved and I want a dream that has yet to be fulfilled and I feel devastated about all of this. Yes I am still with my AH. We go to counselling and I think that I will stop our counselling soon because he doesn't see any problem but I do. He pushes all my buttons ( I allow them to be pushed) and we have these really bad episodes that bring me to tears and I haven't stopped crying since the last one. I have a lot of emotions wrapped up here and I am greiving it all out now. I feel devastated. I am happy for you. You I have followed since I came to SR and I think you are doing what is right for you and your family.