I have to agree with Minnie. If there is love there to begin with, detachment does not erode it. In fact, when I was an active codependent, my love for AH was dying every day. All the disappiontment, disgust, blame, and resentment were killing what love I had left for him. After he left, I still felt all those things, but without him there every day, I had the chance to really work on recovery and examine why I felt the way I did. Turns out I was blaming him for everything, including my pain. Once I was able to detach with love, and get rid of the blame, I realized that I do love him and I always will. No matter what happens, whether he recovers or not, I love him enough to let him go. He does not deserve to be controlled by me any more than I deserve to be manipulated by him.
When I realized this, that is when I discovered what "detaching with love" meant.
L