I think that detachment ultimately erodes love. It has for me anyway. When you detach, you see things in a clearer light- for what they truly are. You let the A make their own decisions and live with the consequences. You don't preach or plead, you just let them be and look out for yourself. It is VERY difficult to see the person you love make the same mistakes over and over and over again without losing respect for that person. It is VERY difficult to have your spouse break promises to you over and over and over again without losing trust in that person. How can there be love after this? Detachment is necessary for self-preservation though which must be your first priority. You cannot help this person and you will fight a losing battle so long as you continue to try.