Originally Posted by TexasGirl
You know, there are many different types of love. There's the deep, amazed love that Equus feels for D that is the envy of many of us. There's a love that is fueled by passion (think that really hot man or woman that might not last forever). There's a love that is based in stability (think marrying the not-so-cute guy who you know will provide for you forever). There's a love that is formed in familiarity. We see this historically in arranged marriages. Despite the fact that they never knew each other, they fall in love because they are joined in law, they share a family, they learn each others' nuances, etc. Of course there were arranged marriages where hidden affairs took them away from their spouse too. There's a love that grows and changes over time to be something completely different, stronger or weaker. And one type of love doesn't fit every couple or every situation.
Sorry...more ramblings...
........ but TG, that is not the point to the thread. I asked if anyone wanted to share why they "love" their alcoholic significant other or spouse, while living in an abusive or neglectful relationship. It's not a criticism of anyones choices, I would just like to know why? and I've gotten some very good feedback and understanding. Thank you all.
I did not mean to have this turned into a debate about the types of love that are out there. I'm smiling because reading your post above the first thought that popped into my head was "her co-dependency" is showing.
Making excuses and trying to "fit" your love for your husband into a category or a compartment, what some therapists might call "compartmentalizing".
For my husband and myself, first it was that deep passionate can't get enough of each other type of love, then it changed yet again, then it was a love based on stability & trust (most recently) and so on and so forth. Love is ever evolving, ever fine tuning itself and forever growing. What I read here is people stuck in that "I love him/her ...... why is he/she ruining what we had". This to me is not a love that is forever evolving and growing ........ it is a love that is stuck in a rut.