(((patty)))
I think you are handling this really well and I just love the way you have made such healthy choices about which days you will absolutely not see him. That is such recovery.
Something about closure and an active alcoholic which I think you have touched on. I don't think that one can get any meaningful closure FROM an active alcoholic, mainly because I don't think they want to give it. There is no way on this earth that THEY will be the one to close the door on someone who was once an enabler and who may, given the right conditions, return to that way of being. (this is their warped thinking, btw.) And I am not sure that is is possible for us to get closure by simply looking at that one relationship. I certainly had to go through the mill of this and it came to me that I needed to close the door on MY old choices - of men, relationships, ways of behaviour. Once I did that, I got the closure on that particular relationship too.
As for wanting all of those things in your last post - I know exactly what you're saying. I'm just not sure it's possible.