Hi Just Fed Up,
And welcome to the board. I had similar feelings about my ex when he and I were still living together. I hated the "Jekyll/Hyde" thing and I really hated what his drinking did to my kids. It was hard when we first split up, because I had to get used to being on my own. But I can tell you in all honesty that my life is much better without him in it on a daily basis. Even when he is sober and healthy, there are things about him that just wear me out.
Sorry you are going through such a hard time right now. I will say a prayer for you and your family. I'm sure in time you will find your own way to deal with your situation. This forum is a great place for advice and support. Stick around.
Peace,
Gabe